There are a lot of reasons why egg freezing and deciding to freeze your eggs can feel overwhelming.
Here are three of the biggest reasons why egg freezing can feel so overwhelming. For each of these reasons you resonate with, I included three action-oriented and anti-overwhelm tips to help you move forward. Because, NOT you wanting to stay stuck and overwhelmed!
Reason #1 the Overwhelm is Real
Finances and cost
Let’s get right to it: In the U.S., it’s kind of expensive, and many insurance premiums do not cover the cost egg freezing citing the lack of “direct benefits.”
So, maybe you wonder if you can afford egg-freezing at all.
(And maybe, you begin to wonder whether you will be able to afford to have children…at all?)
Instant Action Tip:
Call your insurance and ask whether anything regarding egg-freezing is covered. At least you will know!
They will likely want to know if you are freezing for social reasons or medical reasons (you have been diagnosed with a condition that would affect your ovary’s production of eggs in the future, like cancer). In the rest of this post, social egg-freezing will be referred to as egg-freezing.
Try this simple mindset hack if the cost of egg-freezing seems overwhelming:
I like to do a subscription audit to get an instant boost if I feel I need to make room for an investment such as a course, coaching or fertility treatments like egg-freezing (and in my case IVF as well). As your purchasing decisions change, it is a great time to audit those subscriptions and ask, “Is there anything that I’m paying for that isn’t completely necessary? What actual value do I get from this subscription? Is it a nice-to-have or a necessity that you would perish without?”
Do you really need that monthly paper towel subscription from Amazon?
Cost of monthly subscription x 12 = X
Sometimes that number, X, is a significant amount, especially if there are more than several subscriptions that you elect to cancel.
This hack is aimed at getting you to look at unseen sources of money (here in this exercise, it is saved expense) to which you have easy access. I know it is not the answer-all budgeting strategy; however, I always feel empowered after I do a subscription audit.
Reason #2 the Overwhelm is Real
Forfeiture of Lifestyle and Fear of Lifestyle Changes
Maybe it’s just hard to imagine children (and maybe even a partner) in your life at this point.
You have worked so hard to create your current life and your lifestyle, and now you’re supposed to be thinking about having children? It makes absolute sense to wonder, “Can’t I enjoy myself first?”
What if…
-you actually enjoy the hell out of your life right now and low-key resent how you suddenly have to plan for children?
-you have finally surrounded yourself with amazing people (or found that partner of your dreams) or you are doing amazing things like ski trips and festivals or are part of a co-op kefir culturing group that is about to take a product to market?
-you have just landed that perfect job that will allow you to travel to Europe every three months?
Lifestyle change and the fear of lifestyle change looks different for everyone. Some people experience an abrupt lifestyle change through the death of a partner, or going through a divorce, or some other traumatic event that affects their lifestyle.
So if you are not experiencing an abrupt lifestyle change, sometimes it can be difficult to imagine change otherwise.
Instant Action Tip:
Look At It!
Create a list of what you really love and are grateful for about your current life. Aim to include at least 20 items on the list; no matter how small ie; you have the best sourdough starter, you wrote the code to a program app that directly saving lives, etc.
It’s always great to practice gratitude! Why? Gratitude exercises, such as journaling or listing what you are grateful for, can improve your mood and outlook and help you feel more positive in the face of any challenges.
Reason #3 the Overwhelm is Real
You may not have the right support network at this time to get on with it.
For some women, it is difficult to talk about oocyte preservation for many reasons.
You wonder…
-if people will understand what you are feeling because they’re at different places in their lives (some of them are getting married and even having children already).
-if you are going to be judged as selfish for wanting more time to decide to have children.
-if you are giving up on finding a partner right away because you are debating whether to freeze your eggs.
Quick action tip:
Begin to look for potential support sources and communities in the event you are not 101% sure if your family/friends will be supportive. You can also look for support while you debate freezing your eggs.
This outside support is not meant to be a substitute for family or friends but sometimes hearing what is happening to other people as they go through something that is very similar can be very helpful in knowing you are not the only one to go through the overwhelm.
And for some people, looking for outside support is the only option available.
The topic of the lack of support from family and friends is often discussed within egg-freezing support groups. You have the opportunity to connect with other women who may be experiencing similar feelings as you.
Luckily there are so many support groups online you can join. In addition to online support groups, some fertility clinics have online offerings where you can meet and connect with other women who are also working through their decision to freeze oocytes.
If you prefer to work with someone individually, you may want to consider private coaching. There are many benefits to private coaching: Private coaching is made to fit your schedule and is personalized and efficient. Private coaching can also keep you accountable and motivated!
Did you enjoy this and want even more free and easy tips to help you even more thoroughly plan and consider when to begin your egg-freezing journey?
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