Recently on Instagram, I saw a post of a young woman, 29, who decided recently to freeze her eggs. While many people who posted comments were supportive and appreciative of her candor in sharing her egg-freezing experience, some were compelled to share that they thought she was “too young” and that she’s not “too old” to have a natural try later.
It’s unnecessarily dismissive.
After all, without seeing tests, “How do they know?”
In her post she said, “egg quality decreases with age.” And, while so many factors play a role that influence our individual ability to freeze our eggs, some people can wait longer (to have children naturally)…others cannot, egg quality does decrease with age.
This makes me wonder, are these people making the “too young or too old” statement about themselves?
I felt sad to read the back and forth on the debate of whether she was too young.
Meaning, what works for one person may not work for the next person. Especially when you begin to factor life events like super busy periods or even divorce.
Even logically thinking about it, there’s no way to prove that she was too young. How would we even go about trying to prove it? Wait 5, 7, 10 more years and then try to freeze her again?
The debate of whether to egg freeze based on age alone doesn’t add to a more meaningful dialogue that women could have been having with each other around preserving their fertility. Even simple reasons, like age, could have multiple factors driving the decision to freeze, such as the desire to extend the dating timeline to find the right person and to give themselves more time to achieve bucket list goals.
“It becomes a debate of values…”
And what are values based on? Beliefs.
What if the narrative was changed to…Egg Freezing is an investment women should make once they turn 25. How would we feel about a 29 year old travel blogger freezing her eggs. By the new belief standard she would be “too old.” Not me saying we need to change it to 25, but it’s about how our norms become our beliefs which become our values (that we then try to impose on others).
We don’t need to do this to ourselves. So many factors influence all of us individually.
We are the CEO’s of our own bodies.
For women who are debating whether to do this or not, overcoming the dizzying amount of rhetoric, half-science half opinion, while personal beliefs about what a vision of success would look like, as well as actually begin the process is nothing short of daunting while a woman is trying to enjoy her “egg-freezing years” as best she can.
“The noise” as I call it.
Clap up that travel blogger who froze her eggs at 29! If you are interested in reading about traveling abroad for egg freezing, check out this post here.
So, speaking of noise, how can you overcome the noise out there so you can get clear on what works best for you?
Here is one technique that I really really love…
One method to overcome “the noise” and stress is what is called “Tapping,” or Emotional Freedom Techniques.
EFT, or Tapping, is a stress reduction technique. We use a tapping process with our fingers to stimulate acupuncture points on the face and body. It has been around for more than 40 years and researched now for more than 20 years. The 250+ published journal articles on tapping show it affects a range of biochemistry in the body (e.g., blood pressure, brain activity, cortisol and DNA expression).Evidencedbasedeft.com
Rooted in the Practical
When measured against the standards of the American Psychological Association’s Division 12 Task Force on Empirically Validated Treatments, EFT is found to be an “evidence-based” practice for anxiety, depression, phobias, and posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
This study adds to the evidence base for EFT as an effective mental health intervention, as has been demonstrated in many previous studies. It also suggests that EFT simultaneously improves a broad range of health markers across multiple physiological systems. As hypothesized, participants experienced significant decreases in pain, anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Physiological indicators of health such as RHR, BP, and cortisol also significantly decreased, indicating improvement. Happiness levels increased as did immune system function.Dr. Peta Stapleton
Reasons to Try EFT:
- Addictions, such as food, alcohol, smoking
- Weight Issues and Eating disorders
- Improved self-worth & belief in yourself
- Depression & Anxiety
- Releasing trauma from past memories
- Releasing any current negative programming like social norms that we are in conflict with
If any of these factor into your decision to move forward with egg freezing, EFT tapping can help.
When you hear a lot of noise, your fear is easily fed (think watching the news daily). Fear deletes, distorts and distances you from taking any action in what you think you would want or know what would be good for you.
Tapping lets you get some room from the perceived issue so that you can get perspective from problems, past events, or obstacles in order to be able to take a look at and potentially act on what you need to act on. Tapping can also help you identify and acknowledge WHY you haven’t been taking action.
The average human thinks 60,000 thoughts per day, and 80% of those thoughts are negative according to the National Science Foundation. Talking about needing a disruptor, like EFT, to pattern interrupt!
Benefits of Tapping:
The advantages of Tapping are numerous:
- It’s simple enough that anyone can do it, even children!
- It’s noninvasive.
- It requires no special equipment or location.
- It’s much faster than most other techniques.
- It’s flexible enough to adapt to any situation or issue.
- Tapping will work even if you are skeptical. So try it!”
Tapping Into Ultimate Success by Jack Canfield and Pamela Bruner
How you can find EFT practitioners: Here are some tips
-Note that all practitioners aren’t the same
-Know that the practitioner isn’t the healer, your body is!
-Ask if the practitioner strictly uses EFT or blends in other techniques
-Expect that complex issues may take more than one session
-EFT can be as effective over zoom as in person!
-Check in with your practitioner about what results you achieve! Practitioners love feedback!
About Vanessa Hunt
While Vanessa Hunt doesn’t think egg freezing is the perfect solution for everyone every time, she has recently established an egg-freezing support coaching practice to help women look at and examine the decision for themselves. She has discovered EFT, which has helped her in her own stress reduction techniques in managing everyday life stresses and now loves to include EFT Tapping in her coaching practice. She uses EFT, NLP, and RRT techniques to assist women who are looking to move forward with egg freezing but need a bit of support in being able to look at the question of when, how, and why moving forward with egg freezing may make sense for them.
Interested in a free resource to help you get started with egg-freezing? Grab Egg Freezing 101 to help you get an idea of what makes a well rounded decision to move forward with egg freezing.